Jun 22, 2009

One Byte Cafe – Love, Hate, Love, Nintendo

Tags: gamecube | N64 | NES | Nintendo | One Byte Cafe | SNES | Wii

This is a flame, a rant, an outburst, and just some plain old belly aching about falling in love, out of love, and then back in love with Nintendo.

Dear Nintendo,

You weren’t always my favourite. I began my video game life on an Atari 400 personal computer. We had just a few games and Galaxian was the only one that stands out in my memory. I was very young and we had very few games. Later, I moved into an Atari 2600 that I inherited from one of my cousins when they were given a NES. I also received lot of games with the 2600 and I remember thinking how dumb most of the games were, but it still provided me with hours of entertainment. I also remember hating how the controller never felt right in my hand even if it resembled something at the arcade.

Years later I finally got my very own NES and I only had the Super Mario Bros/ Duck Hunt game that came with the console. It didn’t matter how many games I had, these two were all I needed to become hooked on gaming. I played the snot out of Mario and had already become a Nintendo fanboy and didn’t even know it yet. Nintendo was now my favourite and I never looked at my 2600 again.

From there I moved onto SNES, which was the first system I bought with my own money. This is still one of my favourite Nintendo platforms. My SNES still brings me hours of enjoyment still till today. Nintendo, you took all of what worked on the NES and made it twice as good in every way. Thank you. The pure 2-D awesomeness of this system just made me blossom into the hardest of the hardcore fanboys, which in turn proved to be useful during the next gaming generation.

snes_control

PlayStation hit the scene and everyone was crapping in their pants to buy one, but not me. Instead, I bought a N64 (actually got it a week before launch thanks to a local game store breaking the street date) and I was constantly ridiculed by my friends saying “Nintendo is for kids”. All I could do was say how crappy the games and graphics were on the PSone even though it had a lot of cool looking adult games like Resident Evil. At least the N64 gave us one of the best Mario, and Zelda games to date; which ended up winning most of my fanboy arguments. It’s hard to lose a fight with those two heavy hitters on your side. Even still, what the heck was up with that retarded controller? Didn’t you guys have any other ideas on the drawing board? No one had the forethought to put the D-Pad right under or above the analogue stick? As dumb as it looked though, I do have to give it some respect. The controller did introduce me to an analogue stick and rumble which changed the face of gaming. Thank you for that Nintendo. All of that aside, this really grinds my gears, you sold me a system that needed a RAM upgrade and you freaking new it. Why else would you design an easily accessible compartment for adding additional RAM? You purposely left out a vital component that was necessary to play some of the games released on your system. You also left out a pack in game when I bought the system. I felt wronged and ripped off by this. How can you sell an electronic that doesn’t work without buying other components like the initial software? I guess this was a commonplace tactic to keep costs down but it still pissed me off.

I stuck by you Nintendo, through all of the taunting and teasing my friends gave me, through selling me a system that needed a RAM upgrade, through an awkward controller, and then you go and release the GameCube. The GameCube had some really good games and it was surprisingly portable, but let’s face it, it sucked compared to its predecessors. I thought for sure I would change my mind about the GCN when you followed up on the best Mario and Zelda game made to date, but you freaking gave us Sunshine and Wind Waker. WTFD? Those were good, but they seriously paled in comparison to your previous attempts. It was like you hired third party developers to work on these classics. At least you made things right with Metroid (which was ironically made by an acquired third party), but you really only had a few great games amongst a sea of mediocrity. This was a mess that even Chibi Robo couldn’t clean up. You improved the controller at least. It went from that hideous 64 controller to one of the best feeling controllers on the market. Still no pack in game but this was the norm amongst all game platforms by now.

Chibi-Robo-Park-Patrol-2

Next, I bought a PS2 and an Xbox. I was done with you Nintendo, you pissed me off for the last time. Screw you. I let my GameCube collect dust while I played some GTA and Halo. As much as I wanted these games to fill the void in my heart, they never could. It was at that time, when I had turned my back on you and swore I would never let you make a fool of me again; it was then that you gave me the Revolution. I felt the warm tingle of excitement sweep over me and I was instantly in love with you again. ‘Would you take me back baby? I was wrong for leaving and I see that now. Shh, don’t say anything. I don’t wanna ruin it.’

As soon as I forgive you and take you back, what do you do? You renamed the Revolution to Wii. Who cares if the Japanese kids have a hard time saying Revolution, everyone else learned how to say Shigeru Miyamoto just fine. No, Its okay. You know what? I can fight off the taunts about the name of the system if the system really does what you say it will do. This is going to be amazing. I can really swing Link’s sword? I can add a whole new layer of realism to sports games that can’t be matched on any other platform? You are going to change the face of gaming once again and crush every other system on the market. I am in fanboy heaven.

Sooo, let me get this straight. You can’t actually swing Link’s sword? You just wiggle the remote? Oh, the remote isn’t capable of 1:1 motion? I understand you are leaving out some components to keep costs down. I understand and didn’t need another DVD player anyway. Oh my, what are those limbless bobble head characters in that sports game and how come it looks like someone threw up the graphics? Oh that is a packed in game? Well, that’s cool I guess. ZOMG! This thing is going to have full backward compatibility for all Nintendo games and even some other platforms? Look at the Classic Controller, it’s a SNES controller with dual analogue. This is going to rock after all.

28085856791s

Nintendo, I have been playing my Wii for some time now and I have to say that I love it and it is quickly becoming one of my favourite consoles of all time. I have blown a lot of money on your Wii shop channel and feel it was well spent. Even though I couldn’t swing Link’s sword like I wanted to the game turned out to become my favourite Zelda game to date. Mario Galaxy is as good if not better than Mario 64, and Metroid Prime is the best Metroid game ever made. I even dabbled in installing homebrew on my Wii. I know you frown upon this, but this console is probably the best homebrew console there has ever been and it is freaking cool.

BUT NOW YOUR GONNA CHARGE ME TO FIX MY WII REMOTE?! Come on. I have to buy an attachment that will make my Wii remote function like it should have when you sold me the system? This just reminds me of the Expansion Pak for the N64. Please, please, please don’t head down this road again. We have come so far and have been through so much. Just listen to me, one of your fans (not the fickle people flocking to buy Wii Fit), because your fans are the ones that stick by you when you no one else will. We will continue to put food on your plate even though you bite our hand when we feed you. I know you have to make money, but don’t step on our heads just to secure the tallest persons purchase too. Just coddle me and make me feel like it is going to be alright.

Sincerely,
Give us Earthbound and Mother 3 (aka Jeff Phelps)

earthbound 2

If you liked the above post why not check out some more related posts from the list below.

6 Responses to “One Byte Cafe – Love, Hate, Love, Nintendo”

Love, Hate, Love, Nintendo « Wii Vidz Says:
June 22nd, 2009 at 6:32 am
[...] Article here [...]
Love, Hate, Love, Nintendo | Games Blog Says:
June 22nd, 2009 at 7:21 am
[...] Article here [...]
CJlopez Says:
June 22nd, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Just as a defensivbe argument for the additional cost in the WM+, remember that Itawa said that they couldn’t add the WM+ from the start cuz it would skyrocket the cost of production of the Wiimote, and really raise the cost of the Wii

They had to wait for the technology to lower the cost of production so the charge wouldn’t be so high. Just look at the PS3, what it costed at launch. 600 was the most feasible you could get at launch, and for what, for more graphics but nothing really new???

At least Nintendo did delivered good motion games and now, 20 bucks more ya get the 1:1. Its only 20!!! hell, i’m from Mexico and don’t find $260 pesos more for that thing all that high to get really near 1:1 experience. Besides, most WM+ enabled games had the device bundled with the game for only 10 bucks more, that half the price for 1 WM+!!!

Nintendo ain’t riping ya off like M$ or Sony does with their addons, they always think on the economy of the consumer, and more on this times
chief Says:
June 22nd, 2009 at 4:50 pm
The tech used for the gyros in M+ wasn’t even announced until a year after the Wii was released. It connects the MEMS gyro to the CMOS of the IC at the wafer level where as before they had to use a wire. If they put it in at the beginning we would of had a more expensive product that uses more energy. This is not inline with Nintendo’s design philosophy. This is actually some pretty cutting edge tech.
Unknownsage Says:
June 22nd, 2009 at 4:56 pm
@CJLopez-So? Either way we’re paying extra. I rather pay it upfront then later.
Daniel Roswell Says:
June 24th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
Top notch, as always Jeff!

Its amazing how similar how gaming histories are, except my first console was a NES and I didn’t stray from Nintendo until the Xbox came out.